AWKWARD MOMENTS ON CHAT

I’m a person prone to awkwardness, especially when it comes to communicating with others. Even though I constantly strive to avoid clumsiness in my interactions with others, I oftentimes fail miserably—across all mediums of communication.

The most recent place that I’ve noticed an intrusion of awkward moments is while on Gmail chat, a place in which I spend a significant portion of my day.

Awkward Gmail Chat Moment #1: Dual Conversations

Conversation is cruising along steadily on one topic, with both participants actively discussing the topic at hand. Suddenly, while Person A is typing (and thanks to the infinite innovation that is Gmail chat, you can actually see that this person is typing), presumably about to continue on the current topic of conversation, Person B suddenly asks an off-topic question or comments on something completely out of left field. Person A then hits enter, thereby continuing the conversation around the original topic.

Both people are now the proud owners of an awkward dual conversation: a concurrent, two topic chat.

If the chatters are experienced, the topic of lesser importance will eventually die off (usually after a couple of lines). But sometimes, the dual conversation can linger, with both people trying to comment on both topics at once. Personally, I find maintaining dialogue on two topics at once confusing and unnatural.

This dual conversation, once extinguished, can also be ignited later in the conversation, should one of the participants remember something relevant that they’d like to share. It’s like never-ending birthday candles, persistent to the point of annoyance.

Awkward Gmail Chat Moment #2: Long Pauses

Any time there’s a long pause, it can get awkward. Just think of the last first date you were on, remember when the conversation slowed?

The same goes for Gmail chat. In fact, it’s even a more obvious when there’s a long pause because of the time stamp. If you’re the last person who’s typed something, the time stamp gives you a physical reminder of how long you’ve been ignored.

Pauses are sometimes necessary. When I’m being ignored, I often look to the person’s status. If I see that they’ve gone idle, I know that a bathroom break or mtg has taken them from their computer. If they’re red, I realize that something’s come up that they have to focus on.

I start to feel neglected when the person has stayed green, but hasn’t changed their status or typed anything to me for a while. Because if they’re still green without changing a thing, that means they’re chatting with others and ignoring me.

Only thing worse is when I’m at the office and can see that person sitting at their desk, hammering away with Gmail open and my most recent ping flashing at the bottom right of their screen.

Awkward Gmail Chat Moment #3: The Grinding Wind Down

Often preceded by the Long Pause, the Grinding Wind Down is the point at which both participants have nothing left to—literally—chat about.

You can feel it: your conversation has been forced by both parties for the last couple minutes, each of you quickly running out of things to say. That's when the Grinding Wind Down hits, usually taking the form of one word responses that don’t spur additional conversation.

What can you respond to someone who just typed “haha”? Answer: nothing.

Unless, of course, there’s another topic you can chat about.