You know you've left San Francisco when...

Taxi drivers have no desire to talk to you.

In San Francisco, it is hardly uncommon to discover that your cab driver holds a Phd. I remember one ride where the driver effortlessly flipped a discussion of Marina bars into a lecture on Malbec wines. He followed with a postmodern analysis of Nietzsche's Will to power that went miles over my head. But thanks to BlueTooth headsets and New Yorkers' congenital disinterest in stopping and smelling the roses (hey, they get shit done), New York is different. As I sat in the taxi from JFK at 1AM, I was not welcome in the immutable conversation that was taking place on the other side of the plastic divider. Though I couldn't understand the language, I was intrigued: "Who on EARTH is this guy talking to!? His mother? Ever since she learned how to text, my mother has texted me three times a day saying how much she loves me... And even she would have hung up on me hours ago."

They call it Silicon Alley.

Everyone j-walks.

It has always astounded me that no one ever pays bus fare in San Francisco, but walking across the street on red is almost as bad as being caught throwing a recyclable bottle into a trash can. Not the case at Astor Place.

You're more likely to incite a brawl with a Boston fan at a Knicks/Celtics game if you're wearing a Lakers jersey.

You're ordering burgers and your friend wonders, "Animal style??? Like a sex position? Oh... you mean like we saw those people doing in that park when I visited San Francisco!"

A couple Jews from Berkeley make the best burrito in town
Seriously, congrats Oliver! Check out Dos Toros

Bar None doesn't suck

I lied. Never went because my friends said it sucks. I guess some things never change!