How/Why I Flirted With A Gay Man

A week or so ago, I flirted with a gay man.

Details of my foray onto the "other team":

I had rushed to the Banana Republic from work on a Wednesday night because I had been given an awesome coupon: 40% off any one item on that day only.

I got to the store around 7:00 and went through my customary BR routine: Walk around the store and grab anything that remotely interests me, then get into a dressing room where I immediately become overwhelmed at the amount of stuff I've accumulated. The next 30 minutes were spent sequestered in the dressing room, working my way through the pile of cardigans and khaki.

I finally emerged from the dressing room--with a problem. I couldn't decide between two items: a navy and red plaid shirt or a grey half zip sweater. For the life of me, I couldn't decide which of the two I liked more.

I ended this dilemma by deciding to buy both items (which is exactly why BR created this coupon. Who goes into BR and buys just one item? No one, that's who.)

So I get to the checkout counter and here's where the magic happened.

Before I go into detail into my interaction (flirtation?) with the BR associate, a quick fact that one must know about me that comes into play in this story: I'm a friendly, midwestern guy who has the ability to strike up a meaningful conversation with just about anyone. This gift enables me to meet interesting people in most environments. This weekend I even befriended a regular at Molotov's--while dressed as Santa. For anyone not familiar with Molotov's, this is the equivalent of a duck hunter being invited into a PETA convention.

I strike up a banter with the BR associate, hoping that I can eventually steer the conversation onto how we can stretch my 40% discount over both my items.

I started the conversation with a healthy dose of commiseration, thinking that taking his side ("You must be ready to get out of here. It was probably a real busy day, with this coupon and all.") was the best strategy. I was right on the money, with conversation immediately flowing freely between associate and coupon-conscious customer.

A couple minutes into this exchange, I began to realize that the associate was taking a lot of care in making sure that I had found everything I was looking for and that my "shopping experience had been enjoyable." It was somewhere between him asking me which salesperson had helped me and gingerly placing my expertly folded clothes into a BR bag that I realized what was actually going on: Oh shit, I'm flirting with this guy.

The realization should have hit me much earlier: the intelligent banter, kind smiles being exchanged, etc. To a casual observer (maybe a casual observer more adept/experienced in interactions between gay men) it probably would have been obvious that I was flirting with the guy.

It was at this point that I consciously decided to keep doing what I was doing. I figured that I had the best chance at success if the sparks were still glowing when I pulled out my credit card.

Sure enough, almost on cue, upon handing over my coupon my (lovestruck?) associate lowers his voice and whispers that "he's not supposed to, but he can apply the 40% discount to both items." Clearly, a coupon/flirtation win (receipt below).

Funny the things that happen when you live in SF for over a year.